The other side

I started this blog with the intention of it being slightly related to the fact that I’m vegan. A year and a half later, I haven’t posted a single sentence.

A year and a half ago, I was in the midst of what they call a quarter-life crisis. I wasn’t sure whether my relationship was going anywhere, i was quite sure that I was selling out by working in the “corporate” world, and i was absolutely terrified about the fact that I was a quarter of the way through my life and i had no idea what I was doing.

I want to be clear that I’ve in no way figured my life out. Quite the opposite — I’ve been learning to get more and more comfortable that life will never be “figured out.”

My “not-going-anywhere” relationship is now going incredibly strong, I have come to really embrace the idea that there is no perfect person. Instead, there is the person that you truly, madly want to be with and work through the hard times with and who you love despite their traits that make you crazy, and who love you despite your own craziness. And i know I’ve found that person.

I have come to embrace the idea that throughout my life, i will work some jobs i don’t like, and some jobs I do, that there will be bosses who inspire me and infuriate me, there will be 14-hour days, and years of 2 weeks of vacation. There will be coworkers who make me laugh and who become true friends, and those that i leave at the office. There will sometimes be more than enough money, and sometimes I’ll be scraping by. There will always be room for passion, and for doing what I love, but it might not always make me money.

I have embraced the fact that I am growing up…that one day soon I may have little children to take care of. That my hair will gray, my body won’t be as dependable, my life and dreams and plans will shift and change and grow.

I have come to embrace that change is the only thing you can count on and that that is a good thing.

I no longer beat myself up for not becoming the person I wanted to be when I was 18. Instead, I cheer myself on for working to be the person I want to be today. I work hard to make decisions that make me happy now and know that if i want to change those decision later, I can do so without shame or regret.

My dad always told me, and I’ve come to see, that I can have everything I’ve ever wanted in life. But it won’t come all at once. And that’s the beauty — that there will be fits of perfect days, months and years, and there will be times that some things go so right, and years when some thing fall apart.  At the highest high, I remember to enjoy it because change is inevitable. And at the lowest low, I work to endure it because change is inevitable.

I tear up as I write this because it took a lot of falls to get here, and I didn’t get here alone. This post is for the many people along the way who took my hand, lent a shoulder and ear, who made me laugh, who loved me unconditionally, and who got me through to this other, better side.

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